Thursday, November 25, 2010

Big Sister


Georgia has been slowly adapting to her role as big sister. Her enthusiasm to hold Sebastian's hand (albeit a bit too tight) and eagerness to greet him when she arrives home from school, had made me believe that she was happy about having a sibling. But her more frequent meltdowns and temper tantrums have made it obvious that she is not completely pleased with the changes.

And I try to remain patient. As her anger is usually directed at me. Testing and see how far she can push me. But I try to remember what a wise person said to me during my pregnancy. "Imagine if your husband came home with another women and advised you that you would now be sharing him." Pretty awful thought. G has always been used to being the center of my universe.

Today, after a particularly difficult lunch (lots of whining, no eating and rice everywhere), I thought it better upon arriving at pre-school to warn her teacher that it was one of those days. Teacher Gabriela responded by telling me that Georgia has not been misbehaving at school. But that she had been wanting to talk to me. And she, quite simply, declared, "Georgia is sad." And I, quite simply, started to cry.

I was told that yesterday my outgoing little girl went and sat quietly in the corner and wept. "I want my Mommy." I thought I was doing a pretty good job as a new mother of two. And as I tearfully write this, I ask myself.

How can I do better?


  1. Dear Tammy,
    Georgia is an amazing girl, and she has an amazing mother. Everything is gonna be fine, ok.
    And you know, if you need something, I'll be there for you! x
    T. Gabi

  2. Tammy:
    This happens to all of us. If possible, spend 10 minutes per day just the two of you, doing something that you really enjoy (cooking, walking around the neighborhood, playing). Kids don't have a sense of time, so it is crucial to give her undivided attention for that amount of time. Buy a present from baby to Georgia and another one from Georgia to baby. Ask visitors to talk to Georgia first, and then let her introduce them to the baby. Little things like this help. I promise you it does get better. You are an amazing mom.

  3. Teacher Gabi! Georgia will make it through all of this with the help of wonderfully kind teachers like you, too! thank you so much! xox

    Michele...thank you thank you! all advice is welcome and helpful! big kiss!

  4. querida,
    tudo vai dar certo. irmaos sao os melhores presentes que nos podemos dar aos nossos filhos, mas quem vai ter que descobrir isso, ao longo da vida, são eles.
    leona faz um ano no natal, aqui em casa as coisas comecaram a se ajustar agora. mas isso não significa "eternal bliss", elas se beijam, se agarram, mas tbm brigam, se empurram e, como boas irmas, repetem o processo todos os dias.

  5. hi tammy! td bem?
    i really like reading your blog cuz i feel you 100%! we just gave birth to our second child and i know how things have been intense since all those things happened... all the family is adjusting to the new routine and i´m pretty sure you´re doing a great job!
    esse ciumes melhora com o tempo, é o que esta acontecendo com a nicole, e aos poucos o amor entre irmãos vai tomando forma e se solidificando... a gente deu um presente para o irmão mais velho mas ele ainda não sabe como "usar"... eles vão aprendendo e nós, sempre!!
    bjos à linda familia!

  6. thank you ilana and chris! nossa...o supporte de outras maes dar uma forca! grande beijos para todos voces e seus anjinhos!